After reading many articles on parents in tennis I have been shocked at the enmity between coaches/academies and parents. An article entitled “Why American Academies Dislike Tennis Parents” states that:

“The biggest mistake being made by American academies is to have a rule in place stating that “parents are not allowed near the court.… they have to stay away”. If parents arrive at some American academies or at the USTA training center they will be drilled not to come close to the courts. Often a specific “parents area” is placed in a corner. Parents are pictured by these academies as being the enemy of their own kid(s).”

They then proceed to give “facts” as to why this shouldn’t be the case:

• Every person who has made it in the game had dedicated parents behind them.
• Without the dedication of the parents there are no champions.
• Without the investment of the parents there wouldn’t be any junior tennis tournaments.
• Without the financial support of the parents there wouldn’t be any junior academies or coaches.

This is one of the least helpful articles I have ever read and it is definitely counter-productive. After reading it felt like there was an ‘us against them’ mentality, which clearly is not healthy for coach, parent or player.  

A parent replying to the article writes, “Without the tens of millions of dollars poured into Junior Tennis, every year, by thousands of dedicated, loving parents, THERE WOULD BE NO JUNIOR TENNIS! So, please coach, give Mom and Dad a break” The animosity is building as more people read and comment.

The last piece of the article reads, “Parents are so dedicated to tennis, that they become experts in it. They have dedicated often more than 10 to 15 years focusing on tennis. These parents have something that no tennis coach or academy will ever be able to accomplish. These parents know everything what there is to know about their kid(s) and tennis. If there is something to improve, they figured it out. Often parents are the better coaches, tennis managers and sponsors. Parents are the main engine behind the most professional players, American or foreign.”

To any parent who genuinely feels that “parents are the better coaches” I suggest that you save your money and coach them yourself. Either that or find a coach that you do believe is better. However, this is not the solution, and from a coach’s point of view I think I can help to bring all parties together and help coaches and parents understand the real issues.

All coaches should understand that the parents are extremely important. They not only pay the money but dedicate a lot of their time to their children improving as tennis players and becoming well-rounded individuals. An overwhelming majority of tennis players would say their parents were the key to their success, but that doesn’t mean that they had much involvement in developing their child’s tennis game. Tom Stafford, the father of Emira, a promising junior that I coach, has had a greater influence on Emira’s progress as a tennis player than I have, even though I have been her coach and hitting partner for seven years. Along with Emira herself, I am fully responsible for her technique but I couldn’t have had the results if it was not for her father’s total trust in me and his lack of involvement in her tennis game.

I don’t like the idea of banning parents from watching their child play. However, I have asked parents not to give their child advice when I am giving a lesson. This is not because I believed they didn’t know as much as me or that their advice was wrong. There is a lot more to it than that: If I have a player working on three things on particular shot, that is a lot for anyone to be thinking about, and although a parent may feel like they are giving advice that they know to be correct, it can quite easily ruin what I am trying to achieve by giving them a fourth thing to think about. It is not just about the amount of things they would have to think about, but where this takes their focus. If a parent’s advice takes their focus to their legs when I am working on their swing, then it has slowed down the learning process, regardless of how accurate the analysis on their legs might be.

Here is another example of how actions by a parent can have ramifications that parents may not be aware of until now because of the lack of communication that seems to be present between coach and parent. Let’s say I am coaching technique to improve a player’s forehand, making adjustments to their swing. What we are working on requires focus and a willingness to experiment and go outside of their comfort-zone. However, they have missed their last few shots and the parent at the side of the court starts to look frustrated. Without even a word their child and my pupil now tries to please their parent and just slightly reverts back to a safer option with their forehands, one that they feel they can make the shot with, thus pleasing their parents. I have found that parents that show their disappointment and frustration have children that are much harder to work with in terms of making changes. Rather than letting go they try to make changes whilst not missing, something not conducive for maximum learning.

As a parent you may feel, just like the person who wrote the above article, that it is your right to be involved because of the “facts” that they present. However, you must be careful what you wish for. I hope to present you with my own facts as to why you might not want a coach that goes out of their way just to please you.

As a coach we are trying to work on the edge of success and failure with our players. This is when we get the best results and see the most improvement. If I worry about making the parents happy whilst coaching it can be very counter-productive. Parents always want success for their child, more so than a ‘good’ coach will. If I want my player to succeed in terms of hitting more balls in court for example, then I can easily fall into the trap of making it too easy and not pushing them hard enough. Straddling the line of success and failure is an art for a coach, that is where they live for the whole session. A parent can understandably want to see a little more success than failure. Therefore, a submissive coach, one that focusing on pleasing the parents instead of doing their job, is not what any parent should want. Many coaches will find themselves wanting the child to look good because the parent is on the side of the court visibly frustrated by their child’s drop in form. So a few easy feeds and a few less technical changes than the coach feels the player needs and the parents leave happy and willing to keep paying the money.

Parents’ biggest role when their child is on court, apart from making sure that they are well behaved and courteous, is to give the coach freedom to coach and to let them know that they don’t expect instant results. Letting the coach know that their child learning the game thoroughly is what is important. If a parent wants to know everything that is going on with the development of their child I think the coach should always be willing to communicate with them and discuss what they are working on. The parent should feel like they can approach the coach to talk about concerns they have about their child’s game and the coach should encourage that rather than have the alternative of the parent trying to do the coaching.

Coaches need to understand how important the parents are, if they don’t already, and work together with the parents rather than against them. Things I have written in this article can help parents to be educated on the issues from a coach’s point of view. At the end of the day, parents want what’s best for their children but if they don’t know why it is in everyone’s best interest to not get involved in the on court coaching, their exclusion can seem very harsh, especially when they are paying a lot of money for the service. Coaches can explain to the parents the issues rather than banning them from the courts and should try to come to some sort of understanding for the benefit of the player. For any coaches facing these problems, showing this article to the parents may be very beneficial.

This article was based around private coaching sessions. Other issues may arise with group activities or matchplay where there are numerous parents involved.

To read the full article visit http://ustennisparents.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/why-american-academies-dislike-tennis-parents/